Oldman Announces A Winner

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Going Out Like A Lamb

So here we are at the end of March. In my area at least it is going out like a lamb. To recap we gave away one framed original cartoon to "Spectrum" for finding the secret code words "Spring Break". Good job Mark. A little later we will be announcing the winner of the drawing for the book of their choice. I've got 57 new posts under my belt. I hpoe you all have enjoyed the mix. April will bring a shower of cartoons and bunkai. This will include our first "Swimsuit Issue" and the wisdom of Confuseus. If you have questions for Confuseus send them to Boobishi@gmail.com and he will reply via the blog. We are inching up on 5000 visits so stop by anytime. The porch light is always on. Oh yes...yes and the winner is....

First a word from our sponsors.

The Wisdom of Confuseus

Tomorrow last day contest. Big winner draw book for winner. Name in HAT? Not name in hat is not winning. Sad face not. Winner maybe next time. You lazy boy if name not in comments! How hard comments?! Oldman spend hard money for book. You are not wanting it? Oldman send book to house, you not even walking to the Borders. The way of Kata or the Big Monkey Jiu Jistsu you are choosing.You lazy want moon and stars. Comments are making NOW!!! Following now for two chances.

Cartoon Kata

I don't speak Japanese. I don't even speak English very well but I do love words... and pictures. Occasionally I'm invited to teach a class I developed called "The Language Of Line". I have taught it in corporations and classrooms. I have taught it in colleges and kindergarten. It is not unusual for the first thing for people to say to me when we begin is "I can't draw a thing!". By the end of the class I have everyone introduced to, and "speaking" an international language that is independent of sound and text. It is really very fun.

Oh, back to the Japanese reference. I remember Dave Lowery defining and explaining the word "Kata". He defined it as "How one behaves". It reminds me of when of watching a man plastering a wall. I said to him "That is so cool. You make that look SO EASY". He responded "Oh, thanks, it's nothing it's just what I do". The same thing happens with me. People say nice things about "The Daily Oldman" and I feel the same way the plasterer did... "Oh, thanks, it's nothing it's just what I do".

So here is Cartoon Kata and how I do it.



On the left you can see a stack of 3X5 cards and some pens. Nothing special. Most of my posts are done when I read something on line. I grab a 3X5 and a pen and 30 seconds to 10 minutes later the cartoon is done. Many times I can do a cartoon, scan it and have it on the web in about 5 minutes. The drawing on the right is a rough for a Boobishi page and is much more complicated to do. They start with roughs, inking, scanning and then more digital work after that.



In this photo you can see file folders for each kata. They hold both the roughs and the finished drawings done on vellum and ready to be scanned.



The workbench / assembly line.



This photo shows how essential good posture and correct ergonomics are to the practice of cartoon kata. This is the stage of the cartooning process where I add the man boobs and double chins. You can clearly see in this photo that the stresses of producing cartoons daily has taken it's toll on me. Some days I just don't feel funny. On those days I may resort to an old trick I learned from Gary Larson. I go to the fridge and grab a sandwich. Maybe some lunch meat with mustard. Then I put the sandwich in my pants and go back to work. It is almost impossible not to feel funny when you have a sandwich in your pants.



In this next photo you can see my Flip video camera connected to my computer. The Flip certainly has it's limitations but it is really easy to use. Badda Bing Badda Bang Baddah BOOM!. Video on YouTube. After fueling up with multiple Diet Cokes, I scan and format the cartoon. Then the cartoon is on it's way to you via a seamless digital flow of Internet pixels.

Kata, it's what you do and how you do it. It's how you Behave.

Invading China

I was going through my Cluster Map info the other day. I thought to myself "this is amazing". There are people from all around the world that have visited Oldman's Boobishi. Then as fast as my excitement mounted I was struck by the suspicious absence of visitors from one country... China. You would figure if someone from, Slovenia, Botswana or Latvia can stumble onto the site, certainly one lonely guy in China would type in the word "Boob" (accidentally) and be redirected to the Boobishi. Is there a governmental conspiracy to suppress the free expression of martial cartoons? Have I offended a nation without knowing it? The O.I.O.A may need to look into the matter.

China are you out there?

Desire Paths

Last weekend I was talking with a friend of mine that is a Landscape Architect. In our conversation the concept of "Desire Paths" came up. A desire path is a path developed or worn away by animal or human traffic. The path is often the shortest or easiest route between a starting point and a destination. The amount of wear on the landscape is representitive of the number of people or animals consistanly using that path. Most often a Desire Path is referred to as a "shortcut" or a "path of least resistance".

My friend even told me of a college that when built, did not put in sidewalks for two years. After two years they just paved the desire paths that had been worn by the students. The students found their way.

Gichen Funakoshi, the father of Shotokan Karate once wrote this poem...

To search for the old is to understand the new.
The old, the new
This is a matter of time.

In all things a man must have a clear mind.

The Way:
Who will pass it on straight and well?
To search for the old is to understand the new.
The old, the new
This is a matter of time.

Do you ever wonder on your martial journey, "is my teacher is teaching me straight and well"? If you are teaching do you ever ask the same question of yourself? Who does pass on "The Way" well, and how would you know? Do you find yourself on a Main Street or have you stepped off that known road and onto a desire path?

Hot Or Cold?

Apparently Meteorology is not an "exact" science. One of our local weather savants gave us his prediction for the weekend. He had a pretty good idea there was gong to be "1 to 12 inches of snow". We can hardly call that a laser guided missile of a forecast. His two dogs that often appear on the broadcast with him (Windy and Stormy) could have made that prediction. Sheesh. Some folks, mostly kids will be thrilled by the idea of 12 inches of snow. Me? Not so much. To each his own. As the Zen men say...

"Hot or cold, it is you that feels it"

Twelve inches of snow, and just when I was starting the drawings for my first "Swimsuit Issue". Oh by the way any of you that voted for a Swimsuit Issue in the poll can send photos of yourselves. Maybe we should do a calendar.

Sweeeeeeeet.

If It Quacks Like A Duck, It Just Might Be A Chicken.

There is a story that is told about an abandoned lion cub that is raised by sheep. One day another lion approaches the flock. The sheep tremble with fear and bleat in terror as the lion comes closer. So does the Sheeplion. Struck by the odd behavior of the Sheeplion, the outsider approaches and says, "What the hell are you doing? Why are you bleating like a sheep, you are a lion!?" The Sheeplion replied "Nooooo I'm a sheep. Please don't eat me!!!!

Well, this discussion goes on for the better portion of the day with each of them trying to make their point. Ultimately the Lion gives up trying to convince the Sheeplion and leaves in total frustration and disbelief. Tired and parched from hours of arguing the Sheeplion bends down at the edge of a spring to get a drink of cool water. Startled by his reflection he lets out an enormous roar. He then says to himself "Oh my God, I am a lion".

One reason people like this story is the hope that one day they may become "a lion". Who would not want to be the lion? The powerful, majestic,King of the jungle. The truth is he never transformed from a lamb to a lion. He just came to an understanding and an acceptance of who he really was.

What does this have to do with martial arts? Everything. Some teachers and schools promote themselves and sell the idea that if you are a sheep they can turn you into a lion. That is disingenuous and dangerous. It does capture the imagination better than inviting a student to become the best sheep they can be. How sad would it be to convince a chicken that he needs to become a duck? Believing he is a duck will not change the fact he is a chicken if he finds himself plopped into the middle of a lake.

Now it would seem obvious that the lion would know he is a lion but it is not really as simple as it seems. Do you think that during the time the Sheeplion was growing up no one said "Damn boy, you is one big brown sheep! Whats up with those long ass teeth?".
Sheep and people believe both what they want to, and what they need to believe to survive. For a season, a lion may even have to believe he is a sheep to survive.

I have said many times that a martial art is like a a mirror. If it is a good mirror a teacher can use it to help the student see themselves as they really are. He or she can accurately reflect who the student is whether they be lion or lamb, chicken or duck. Today people bounce from style to style, method to method, teacher to teacher looking for someone to teach them how to be a lion. Very few are brave enough to accept being a chicken.

Variations On A Theme

In our style, the inside block is refered to as Ahm pom mahk gi. In this video I try to show different application of the same movement. I start with the basic block and move on from there. This video is not particularly exciting (no brawling or resisting) and will probably not show more advanced martial artists anything new. It will help some folks see that labeling a movement a "block" does tend to limit your understanding of a movements possibilities.

Bunkai, Pinan Nidan, Pyung Ahn Edan

Clink on image to enlarge.

The Afro Ninja Interview

If you are a martial artist and have surfed the web you have seen him. Afro Ninja. This nun chuck swinging solo knockout artist’s video clip has been viewed over 80,000,000 times. What does one do after an unflattering video of you is leaked online? Hide your face? Take legal action? Slink off into obscurity? No. The obvious answer is “Make a movie”. Capitalizing on his notoriety as Afro Ninja, the star of the clip has written a full length film based on the clip. I guess this might mean a slew of films based on the other actors that have made it onto the same embarrassing audition reel. We can only hope so. Not to mention the possibility of a "Star Wars Kid" movie. That would be sweet.



Though I have not had anyone post a video of me without my knowledge I have put up a few of my own. I remember putting the first on up. I hit the send button and thought "OMG what have I done?" I have found my videos posted on other sites. It is a little odd to go to a website in Bulgaria and see that someone linked me into their site. Have any of you put video of yourself up only to regret it later? It can be an exercise in humility. Maybe I should destroy any out takes, because to be honest I could be the next "Star Wars Kid" if those clips fell into the wrong hands.

Bunkai Pinan Sandan / PyungAhn Sam dan

A Kiss is Still A Kiss

Unable to resist the lure of starlets hooking up, the All Americans fall into Oldman's trap. Steve and Bobby Coco, make quick work of the thugs tapping them faster than kegs at a frat house. Oldman then adds insult to injury by by duct taping the trio together. With the bad guys taken out of the picture Oldman disguised as a chauffeur drove the ladies to the airport. As he opened the door for the girls one of them turned to him and said "Thanks.....Daddy". "Whaaa...? Jojo you knew it was me... how did you know it was me?" Jojo replied "It was easy Dad, you were the only person in Mexico that was ANNOYING...even when you are saving the world you are "STILL ANNOYING!". Then she added "Even though you ARE annoying I still love you. See you in Kansas". Then she kissed him on the cheek and left for the plane. Oldman realized something then. A kiss IS still a kiss, and a very, powerful thing indeed.

Britney And Paris Sitting In A Tree

It's Going Down

Everything Included

"El Luchador"

Later Oldman and Steve followed one of Takahashis men into the wrestling arena. At one point Steve was sure that he had blown their cover. Thinking quickly Steve donned a mask and jumped into the ring.

Grinding El Organ

After arriving at the resort Oldman and Bobby Coco cover the front entrance of the resort. They waited and were on the lookout for Takahashi's thugs. Though they did not spot them or the girls, They did receive a very generous tip from the Kaufmans.

Celebrity Sighting

Rex makes his way to Playa via Vespa. The Plan is for the Squad members to arrive in Playa and regroup. They will disguise themselves to blend in with the locals and the resort staff until the can engage Takahashi's Frat boy henchmen.

A Close Call

The Affiliates then broke into teams for their respective incursions into Mexico. Steve, Wahang Chung and Oldman arrived at the the border first. The crew had a close call when Steve accidentally greeted the border guard with a cheerful "HOLA". This greeting from the northern end of a southbound burro aroused the guard's suspicions. After interrogating and strip searching the burro's rider, Oldman and the "burro" are released. Though Oldman felt violated "he" (Oldman) had not violated Mexican law. Strangely enough it is only illegal to take a talking burro out of Mexico. It is perfectly legal to bring them into the country. After making it across the border they pressed on toward Playa.

Will Mark Find The "Secret Code"?

The "Intell"

The Briefing

A Call From The President

Though a call from the President was not an unusual occurrence, it was always a bit startling. Oldman had been keeping an eye on the current unrest south of the border. He did not know when or if he and the O.I.O.A. would be called on to intervene.

Oldman knew what to do. First, assemble the squad. Second, Make a plan. Third, stick with the plan. Forth, when that plan doesn't work try it two more times before coming up with a new plan. Knowing they were a man down because of Spazwell's unfortunate mayonnaise meltdown, Oldman needed to bring in another Affiliate. He new it could only be one man Steve BJJ a.k.a. "El Luchador"

St. Patrick's Day

The Big Reveal

Upon further consideration, Oldman's design sensibilities and low pain tolerance lead him to choose another direction with his tattoo. Embodied in his final choice are the quirky mixture of Dadaist condescension, Zen obtuseness, Warhol's nod to current contemporary culture and the elegance of Shaker simplicity. In many creative endeavors less can be more. In this case less may just be less.

On Pins And Needles

Tattoo Time

Bunkai, Pinan Godan / Pyung Ahn Odan

Cat...um...er... Catch Wrestling

Catch Wrestling was also referred to as "Rough and tumble fighting" It was also the original NHB in the states. Biting, eye gouging, groin clawing, hair pulling, were all allowed.These underground and carnival fights were won by knockout or submission. English and American wrestling styles came together into a hardcore American catch-as-catch-can style of wrestling. Today’s MMA guys owe a debt of gratitude to these early " Shoot Wrestlers". Frank Gotch, Lou Thesz were in their days "The Man".

Growing up in Illinois and Iowa it seemed at times everyone wrestled. Matches didn't always take place on the mat. My dad was a wrestler in high school and received a four year wrestling scholarship to Augustana College. In the area I grew up in you didn't shake hands with another guy when you met each other, you wrestled. One such meeting was recorded in Lincoln biographies. In the summer of 1832, Abe Lincoln moved New Salem, Illinois. Soon after arriving, the 6'4'' Lincoln found himself challenged to a wrestling match by one of New Salem's tough guys Jack Armstrong.

If you would like to learn a bit about the history of wrestling in the U.S. visit www.wrestlingmuseum.org. The Dan Gable International Wrestling Institute and Museum. If you visit in person you might want to attend a seminar at The Dan Gable Teaching Institute, taught by "DUH!" Dan Gable himself.

Totally Random Saturday

Totally Random Saturday

Lesson Plan For - 3/13/2009

The New Student

Tonight in an odd twist of Internet fate I stumbled onto this video. Many of you out there are too young to remember the television series "Kung Fu" starring David Carradine. The show premiered in 1972. Bruce Lee had been considered for the role. This may be hard for some of you young guys to believe but at the time the TV execs felt that the American audience was not "ready" to accept an Asian actor in a lead role. In 1970 my elementary school was completely segregated. None of us at Audubon Elementary School could imagine a future that had Barak Obama as the President of our nation.

In 1972 I was 12 years old. "Enter the Dragon" was just coming out and everybody was "Kung Fu Fighting". I started my first martial arts class in a rather run down YMCA in Rock Island, Illinois. It was led by a Hispanic young man with a brown belt named Maximilian. He was from Chung Kim's Tae Kwon Do Academy in Davenport, Iowa. I didn't have a uniform so he gave me his. Most guys in the class with me dreamed of being Bruce Lee. Some dreamed of being Kwai Chang Cain. Some of us (o.k. me) dreamed of being Master Po. I'm no where near being a Master Po, but what the heck, maybe one day. After all Barak Obama IS the President.

Sometimes the unimaginable comes to pass.

Inkin' Thinkin'

When I was a kid not a whole lot of folks had tattoos. If you did happen to see on it was usually on some relative that was in the military. The inked ships and busty ladies only hinted at the stories that may have led to them. Of course those guys NEVER talked about those stories. At least not to us young folk. Back then tattoos were, other than the military remnants were a, other side of the tracks kind of thing. Now it seems just about everyone has one. Some are really amazing. Others are just ridiculous. I think about it sometimes but I'm horrible at making decisions. I also cant think of anything I've purchased over about a hundred dollars that I didn't get some buyers remorse for. So as for now I'm ink free but who knows.

Got ink or a story that goes with it? I'd Love to hear it.

Better Grades AND Dim Mak !!!

Spring is in the air and a man's fancy turn to...students. New students specifically. Two of the three students that train in my home are college students. Both have intense schedules and at this point have few nights available to train. Many times this means that my student and good buddy Jan gets all of my "attention".

Teaching out of your home has benefits as well as some drawbacks. You don't necessarily want to put up a flyer at Starbucks or the grocery store. Even though I have done a lot of artwork for advertising I've never been much for marketing. As you can tell by my previous posts about receipts, I'm not a numbers kind of guy. Nor am I much of a business man. I was self employed for six years as a freelance designer / illustrator when I lived in Chicago. In spite of my entrepreneurial deficits I managed to do reasonably well.

Not that this is a business based decision. When you only have three students and one of them pays for his training by keeping the dojo clean nobody's getting rich.It is more of an intuitive thing, more like, "I think it's time". The students I have now have come from word of mouth or been acquaintances. Even a neighbor or two. There is nothing better than passive aggressively choking your neighbor for letting his poodle poop in your yard.

Looking to the yellow pages for ideas for bringing in new students might help.I could promise the "Ultimate in Self Defense" or "Lose Weight" "DIM MAK" or my personal favorite "Better Grades". I could also give myself a couple or five additional degrees. Nobody seems to check up on those things anyway. In all honesty I have no idea how or if they will benefit from the experience. I have reason to believe they can benefit from the training, I just don't feel comfortable predicting their future. I could just as easily promote "Find out your knees can't take it" or " Fully experience your inevitable decline of strength". Those are a couple of perks you don't want to overlook.

So, like I did a few years back, begin to put it out there. Who will find their way here?. I have absolutely no idea but I'm excited and very eager to meet them. Whoever they may be.

Deep in the Heart Of Taxes

"Sweetie?"

"Honey?"

Jamie Thornton, Chung Do Kwan

Jamie and her mother Sharon own the Lyndell Institute where they teach Chung Do Kwan, Tae Kwon Do. They are students of Master David Blevins. They are wonderful ladies with tremendous heart and spirit. The inspire me both as a student and as an instructor. I often have a hard time describing our style to people. I feel that these videos capture the feel and expression of Chung Do Kwan as passed on by Yong Taek Chung.

Jamie Thornton 2nd Dan test.



Women's 1st Dan Sparring

A Squad Member Goes Rogue

Oldman had a feeling once he saw the comments on the blog that they may never see Spazwell again. He had seen this before. Squad members that for what ever reason had "lost" it. I could be greed, avarice,or a lust for power, as in the case of Pete Rose, (Ex Cincinnati Bureau Chief). Some fell to drugs or crime. In Spazwell's case it was pharmaceuticaly laced mayonnaise. With Spazwell it was a heroic (if not somewhat gluttonous)attempt to protect others from mind controlling condiments. Because of the secret nature of the squads work, very few would ever know the "Bullet" he took for all of humanity. The only event that even remotely came close to this impact on the O.I.O.A was the loss of the heroic Brian Wilson, (West Coast Special Agent) and, iconic Beach Boys front man to a truckload of altered Orange Crush.

"Honey?"

"What Is It?"

A master was having tea with two of his students when he suddenly tossed his fan to one of them, saying, “What is this?” The student opened it up and fanned himself. “Not bad,” the teacher commented. He then passed the fan to the other student and said “What is this?” The student closed up the fan and used it to scratch his back. Then the student popped open the fan, placed a rice cake on it and served it to his teacher.

The Comments!!!

Compassion

Pronunciation: \kəm-ˈpa-shən\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French or Late Latin; Anglo-French, from Late Latin compassion-, compassio, from compati to sympathize, from Latin com- + pati to bear, suffer.
Date: 14th century
: sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it

Slow Roll

Sorry to all of you that have seen this before. I posted this in response to Steve's comments. I think this would be our standup version of what Steve called "rolling half speed" in BJJ. It is fun at this speed and a good intro into responding to random techniques.

Slow Motion Basics

Tonight in my classes we took a little different approach. We did half of our basics in slow motion with dynamic tension and half at full speed. Slowing things down can really be helpful. It gives an opportunity to experience your movement differently. Any mistakes you make at full speed are usually much easier to see and feel when you slow down. One thing we work toward is getting the body to work as a unit not as individual parts. Another thing is to experience the difference between tension and relaxation. The challenge is getting all the parts of your body to the right place at the right time with the right amount of tension and relaxation. Plus, it can be a heck of a workout. We don't come from a tradition that has a "Sanchin". So this is about as close as we get. What do you see as the value if any in "slowing down".

CSI: WHAT?!!!!

CSI: Coming Clean

Rex, Takahashi's top dog went on to explain. While he was on his assignment to takeout O.I.O.A. members, something in him began to change. He realized that Takahashi used the Kewpie mayonnaise to keep both her Super Poodles and College All Americans under control. Once he had left Japan and become Kewpie free he began to think more clearly, even "freely". Recognizing the the error of his previous ways he enlisted the help of Bobby Coco (one of Oldman's previous uchideshi) to meet with Oldman. Rex brought with him a three gallon jar of Smucker's Strawberry Jam as a generous yet somewhat odd indication of the seriousness of his desire to turn away from his previous life. He had come in part to warn Oldman about the mayonnaise.

Rex explained that when he and Bobby Coco arrived at the dojo they were greeted by Spazwell who informed them that Oldman was not there. Spazwell then began to lick their arms while intermittently sighing, and singing songs by the band "Creed" and "The Brazilian Girls". Seeing the empty mayo boxes and realizing that Spazwell had taken it upon himself to dispose of the pharmaceuticaly enhanced mayonnaise by method of ingestion, Rex new they were in for some trouble. Spazwell then became enraged. He threw furniture and lamps at the pair of them all the while screaming about Morgan Freeman and Florida not being tropical. He then grabbed the strawberry jam and fled to the underground dojo. Rex explained to Oldman that at that point they both felt they should cut their losses and "get outta Dodge".

Oldman realized that even though the entire story could be true there was still no explanation for the body on his floor.

CSI: The Usual Suspects

CSI: Hair Of The Dog

CSI: Back In The Lab